Material for reading "Encouraging self-expression of female learners"
3.1 Self-expression - definition and meaning
Every person is different, has a different personality, different needs, interests, style of being, and different ways of expressing
himself/herself. The way we express ourselves is a very important aspect of life that affects how we are judged, but more importantly, it affects how others understand us.
Self-expression - the expression of one's thoughts, feelings and desires through words, but not only that, also through choices and actions. Examples of different forms of self-expression are (spoken, written words, facial expressions, the way one moves, dress, body, behaviour, possessions, etc.).
Nowadays, many people have trouble expressing themselves. One of the reasons for this is that the modern world imposes on people how they should behave, how they should dress, what they should eat, how they should spend their free time, how they should think, speak, and many other behaviours and trends. If someone deviates from this "ideal", he or she is often badly perceived by society, considered an inferior person or a freak. Because of this, people are afraid to be different, to show their true selves and prefer to conform to most people so as not to stand out from the crowd. In addition to fear, it may be due to low self-esteem, low self-worth, or because someone has never known themselves, has no opinion on many topics, doesn't know what they want, and is more comfortable adopting certain norms.
All the above mentioned factors – low self esteem and the impact of society/ trends – might become a serious problem during coaching sessions. The coach should try to communicate with the learner and so get to know her story – instead the coach may discover the learner has put a mask and pretends to be someone else.
3.2. The importance of the self-expression during the coaching
Supporting the female learners’ self-expression is very important, because with the knowledge of fears, barriers, but also expectations, desires and needs, the coach can guide the female learner in an appropriate way to help her grow. Once the coach helps the female learner open up and express herself he/she also allows the learner to work effectively with others.
A coach should bear in mind that: Change won't happen if the learner does not get to know herself better; naming the factors that influenced her way of being is more than half the battle.
Remember, if learners are not comfortable expressing themselves, it will be difficult for them to show the truth about themselves, be brave, and pursue their goals. They need to believe that their opinion is important to you, that they should clearly express their needs, expectations and dreams, what they like and dislike. Only then they will be able to succeed. Sometimes it can be very difficult for learners to show their true self because it also involves what is difficult for them, what they are afraid of. They may also not be able to talk about it, due to disordered emotions, shyness, lack of confidence and various injuries. But it can be changed. The best way to improve self-expression skills is to practice - as with most skills.
Links for the self-learning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PkHJFcofwo
3.3. How to Develop Self-Expression Skills – Get Familiar with These Techniques!
Here are a few ways you can help learners develop self-expression skills. Some of the techniques listed can be something additional to the sessions – learner can use them at home.
1. Expressive writing - Some people have trouble expressing themselves with words. Writing down their thoughts in any form can help them organise them and share their feelings, thoughts. The aim of such a form is to learn and understand oneself and to express oneself more consciously on various topics.
2. Expressing oneself through dressing - The style of dress says a lot about a person's personality. Clothing is an expression of value and aesthetics. It can also be related to the emotions experienced - e.g. colours play a huge role here. It is important to feel good while putting on specific clothes. Don’t be guided solely by fashion and trends. It is also possible to order personalized garments, e.g. with different inscriptions. This solution can also help with self-expression.
3. Dance and body movement - Actions are linked to a person's emotions and can affect the way they think and look at many aspects. In dance and movement there is the ability to feel expansion and to free oneself from feelings that limit and take away the expression of personality. Thus, such a way, can have an impact on increasing self-confidence and reducing or getting rid of negative emotions, such as stress-related ones.
4. Music - One of the most common ways to express feelings, experiences and personality is through music. Everyone has their own type of music they like to listen to. Songs help you express your emotions. People who can play an instrument can also make music, songs on their own. It is a creative way to express yourself.
5. Public speaking - Some people have a huge problem with speaking up, for a variety of reasons, including because they are shy and lack confidence. However, practice can help to overcome these difficulties. It's worth having an opinion and not being afraid to say what you think. Joining a book club, where everyone shares their thoughts on a book, can help overcome this difficulty. There are many different groups where there is public speaking.
3.4 Supporting the Self-Expression
How a learner expresses themselves (their thoughts and feelings) depends on how well they are able to share their emotions, how assertive and independent they are, and their self-esteem. If you see a learner struggling with this, you can help them develop these qualities through various exercises, such as:
- To get to know the female learner better and help her to get to know herself, create a worksheet with different thoughts/sentences that the learner will have to complete.
For example:
- My dream is…
- When I was a child…
- Today I feel …
- I like …
- I don’t like …
- I am happy when …
- I am sad when …
- I am interested in …
- I am afraid …
- Ask the female learner about her strengths and weaknesses, this way you can find out what her self-esteem is. Ask her to write her strengths on the left and her flaws on the right on a piece of paper. Then, ask her to read them out loud and each characteristic try to explain why she thinks that way. If the coaching is conducted in a group, you can organize this exercise in pairs and ask learners to do the same exercise for a partner. However, it is worth noting that they should start their opinions with their strengths - then it is easier to accept criticism. Such an exercise can help the coach draw appropriate conclusions about the learner's self-assessment, and can also tell a lot about the learner, which will be very useful in guiding the coaching process. At the same time, learners can also work on learning about themselves, self-esteem and expressing what they think.